Sixty. Sixty days I’ve been laying here.
On my side.
Tied to the ground.
With nothing to eat but some nasty bread cooked over cow dung.
It’s not as bad as it sounds. It was supposed to be human dung before I negotiated with God for a little bit of a reprieve.
Did I mention that God was the one who told me to do this? It’s all right there in the fourth chapter of my memoir, which I’m sure is going to be a big hit. Everyone is big on performance art nowadays. God tells me this is going to be huge, draw in the crowds.
Sixty days. Three hundred thirty to go. Then I have to turn around and lay on my other side for forty days.
It’s going to be worth it in book sales alone. Who wouldn’t want to read about my year plus of lying on my side?
I’ve come up with a title. Ezekiel: I’m Not Crazy, God Told Me to Do It.
Okay, it’s not great. I know. It’s a working title. I’ve still got time to think about it.
A lot of time.
~~~
This story was a finalist in the #5MinuteFiction contest held weekly at Write Me! We’re given a prompt of one word (this week was “sixty”) and then we write a story in five minutes.