Tag Archives: religion

It’s Time

It’s time, my son,
Time for you to travel to a far distant country,
Time for you to fight the lion and the bear,
Time for you to run with the horses,
Time for you to fly on an eagle’s wings,
Time for you to listen to the soft whisper
That beckons you to step out of the boat.

Because it’s time, my son,
Time to walk on the water,
Time to live the impossibly possible,
Time to live abundantly in confidence,
Time to live as you were always meant to,
Time to love as you have already been loved:
Completely.

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Shy

From time immemorial, when the heavens and the earth were but faint wisps of thought in the Creator’s mind, the plan for Harvey’s suffering had been put in place. The grand cosmic joke that was to be Harvey’s life had been all accounted for, and was greatly anticipated by the heavenly hosts that praised the Creator’s wisdom and forethought in such a brilliant scheme. Somewhere in the ethereal plane of existence where a myriad of angels sang praises to the Creator, there was a verse that went into gruesome detail about how Harvey’s life sucked. Then the angels would burst out laughing, and so too would the Creator Himself.

Harvey wished he could convince others of this cosmic truth, that God hated him. He longed for the chance to explain why his life had been a series of grand and fantastic failures that could only be explained by the intervention of a cruel deity bent on Harvey’s grand humiliation. No one would listen. People had long since stopped listening. Harvey grew shy and could no longer face them. He could no longer face the world. He removed himself from society, from everything. He no longer wished to be a part of creation.

Harvey had found for himself a place up in a mountain cave where he could protect himself from judging stares of a populace who did not understand him, and the wicked sight of a God who did not love him. There he lived much as he imagined man was meant to live. He sustained himself from what the earth provided, and he was content. No longer did he misfile paperwork, or rear-end vehicles on the highway. No longer did he even have to worry or explain to other people why he was the most-cursed person on the planet. Life was as it should be.

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Sermon Sequel

Sermon SequelScattered coughs and numerous furtive glances filled the auditorium of the Holy St. Mary’s Church of the Sacred Lord Jesus Christ Revival and/or Daycare Center. Pastor Sciutto had a tendency to go overboard on the theatrics, and Holy St. Mary’s Church of the Sacred Lord Jesus Christ Revival and/or Daycare Center was not a place for such frivolity.

Pastor Sciutto slowly walked up to the podium and with deliberate care said, “Some have recently voiced concerns over my recent sermon: Why Motorcycles Are Awesome. So I have decided to address such concerns in today’s sermon: Motorcycles: Awesome Vehicle or Awesomest Vehicle?”

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Reincarnation

ReincarnationIn the life before this one Hamid had been a cockroach. He had no memories of the previous life, but he was sure of it. His life this time was not much better. He still skittered around looking for scraps. Women would at the very least gag, if not scream at his appearance. He must have been a bad cockroach, because this current life felt worse than ever the life of a bug could be.

Hamid wondered from his knot in the ground that he called home whether he had ever lived a good life, whether he had ever been rewarded.

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Hendrick

HendrickAcross the endless sand winded one lone set of tracks. Hendrick had stopped wondering if the desert had an end. Now he only thought of the sweet release of death.

“I’m pretty sure you don’t exist, God.” Hendrick could not perceive whether he spoke out loud or not, “or else you would’ve prevented all of this. But I have no one else to talk to.”

Only the howling wind responded.

“I don’t care if you don’t want to listen! You put me here. Now you have to listen.” Hendrick dreamed of lightning striking him where he stood. There were no clouds.

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Sixty

Sixty. Sixty days I’ve been laying here.

On my side.

Tied to the ground.

With nothing to eat but some nasty bread cooked over cow dung.

It’s not as bad as it sounds. It was supposed to be human dung before I negotiated with God for a little bit of a reprieve.

Did I mention that God was the one who told me to do this? It’s all right there in the fourth chapter of my memoir, which I’m sure is going to be a big hit. Everyone is big on performance art nowadays. God tells me this is going to be huge, draw in the crowds.

Sixty days. Three hundred thirty to go. Then I have to turn around and lay on my other side for forty days.

It’s going to be worth it in book sales alone. Who wouldn’t want to read about my year plus of lying on my side?

I’ve come up with a title. Ezekiel: I’m Not Crazy, God Told Me to Do It.

Okay, it’s not great. I know. It’s a working title. I’ve still got time to think about it.

A lot of time.

~~~
This story was a finalist in the #5MinuteFiction contest held weekly at Write Me! We’re given a prompt of one word (this week was “sixty”) and then we write a story in five minutes.

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Think for Yourself

“You need to grow up, be respectable,” the man in the expensive Italian suit.

“What does it mean to be respectable?” I ask.

“You do what I tell you to do,” the well-dressed man says, “Put away childish things. That’s what St. Paul says, you know.”

“Who defines what is childish?”

“I do, but I pretend as if God and I are of the same opinion.”

“To what end?”

“Control! I control you by withholding acceptance until you conform to my wishes. I use God not because I believe in Him, but because it keeps you from questioning my self-made authority.”

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Militant Atheism

Belief in anything other than nonbelief is heresy to Chris, and he holds to it more strictly than the most devout practitioner of any religion. His religion is nonreligion. His god is himself. The truth has been brought to the world through his own understanding. The world should be praising him for his enlightenment, but it does not.

Religion is the cause of all the world’s ills, and so it must be wiped out like a virus that plagues humanity. The only thing that can save humanity is blood sacrifice, and that sacrifice is religion.

Death to the unbelievers in unbelief.

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A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

The man in white stood atop the hill. “The day is at hand,” he bellowed, “No longer shall we tolerate the infidels. No longer shall they defile the purity of our homes and our land. To arms, my children. So says the Creator!”

Mindless sheep were turned into ravenous wolves that day. Not content with just slaughtering the infidels and their families, they killed those who would not join in, or worse, spoke ill of the man in white.

The man in white’s robes were bloodstained red by the end. He laughed as he spoke, “Purity can come only by death.”

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Land of the Not So Free

Land of the Not So Free“I don’t like it,” an old man blubbers. “I don’t like it one bit. Why don’t they keep their mosques in Arabland where they belong?”

“Grandpa, please,” Joe looks around to see how many strangers have taken notice. “Not in public, please.”

“I’ve got a right to free speech! I’m an American!

“We’ve talked about this before, Grandpa. Those people are Americans, too.”

Grandpa snorts.

Joe continues, “They have a right to freedom of religion.”

“When the founding fathers said freedom of religion, they meant freedom of Christian religion—except Catholics. Look it up!”

Joe moves to Canada the next month.

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